Category Archives: News

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Some Dude Made $2.5 Million Selling Fake Nikes

SC: Investigators from the IRS and the Department of Homeland Security searched the home of James Pepion, the man behind @suppliedpdx and Get-Supplied.com, on April 6, seizing 1,560 pairs of Nikes, 40 pairs of adidas, and seven pairs of Asics.

According to KOIN6, the investigation was initiated by Nike, who began looking into Pepion’s business on March 5. Investigators found that Pepion’s PayPal account for his business received a total of $2,615,988 since 2012, with many comments attached to transactions calling the sneakers he sold fake.

He is accused of selling fake, unauthorized, and grey market sneakers produced outside of Nike’s partnered factories.

A search warrant reveals that federal agents intercepted packages sent to Pepion’s home in Happy Valley, Ore. Of 17 searches performed, agents found that all but one package contained counterfeit goods. Google was served with a search warrant during the investigation, the resulting inquiries connecting Pepion to a Chinese national suspected of organizing the theft and sale of sneakers from factories.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game! As the sneaker industry continues to go grow to astronomical levels, the production of fake, unauthorized shoes will also blossom in lockstep. Case in point, James Pepion; who has made over $2.5 MILLION since 2012 by selling knock-off Nikes and the like.

Does it suck that there are so many fakes on the market, making it nearly impossible to distinguish a fugazzi pair of kicks from the real thing? Sure. But I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if I’m going to sit here and hate on someone for taking advantage of all these jabronis who would optimistically send hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars to a website that had a full-size run of nearly every recent Air Jordan release. Fucking Foot Locker doesn’t even have that many pairs in stock why in the world would a website with a goddamn “-” in their URL?

I’m not saying what he did was right- duping people into believing that they’re buying authentic sneakers is a scummy thing to do. But if people are naive enough to send you millions of dollars for sneakers that they’ve only seen on the internet, then so be it. That’s the American way, after all. Snake it til you make it.

And I’m seeing a lot of folks on sneaker twitter rejoicing from their ivory towers today because of this news, but the reality is they’d all do the same thing in a heartbeat if they had THE PLUG.

Look at these idiot morons:

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DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! Boobie Miles is SO DISGUSTED! Mickey E wants a MINIMUM of 50 YEARS! John Doey is praising THE LORD!!! Give me a break.

I could go down to Canal Street right now and fill up a truck with all of the flimsy Air Max 95s on display, but does it make me a bad guy if I post those sneakers on this site and people want to send me cold hard internet bitcoins for them? If the answer is yes, then I am perfectly fine with being a bad guy. The bad guy with $2.5 Million dollars in his PayPal account…

…Until the FBI raids my home and seizes my entire life, but as my great grandmother once sang to me, “Scared money don’t make no money.”

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The Under Armour Curry 3 Is A Complete Dud

Under Armour just threw up a massive fucking brick if these leaked images of the Curry 3 are for real. The Curry 1 and Curry 2 weren’t anything special but they weren’t a total disaster either, which was essentially a win for Under Armour as they continue to branch out into the basketball sneaker world.

But the latest ingredient to Chef Curry’s sneaker line is easily the worst one yet. It most closely resembles a generic sneaker from NBA Live 95. We’re talking about Standard Definition shit. Bland AF. Tim Duncan wouldn’t even wear these shoes if they were the only thing to protect him from a bed of hot coals standing between himself and a 3-day Macy’s sale on baggy Izod apparel. 

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What’s that old saying? One step forward, two steps back… and now you just traveled to lose the championship game for your team, family and community? I know it’s so cliche and overused but it has never been more relevant than it is right now in this moment.

The Curry 3, as it appears today, is a signature shoe more appropriate for a Kent Bazemore or a Cleanthony Early rather than the reigning (2x) MVP and greatest shooter in the Milky Way Galaxy. 

The worst part is- this comes as a surprise to literally no one.

I love how Kevin Plank built the Under Armour brand from scratch and how they’ve continued to grow in each year since the launch. It’s really tremendous and cannot be overstated.

But bball kicks just aren’t UA’s thing at all. They have absolutely flopped with the upcoming Curry 3 and now idiot bloggers in studio apartments have no other choice but to request that everyone involved be fired immediately. 

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This Wednesday, Feb. 17, 2016 photo shows a snake head that Troy Walker, of Farmington, Utah, says she found in a can of green beans. Walker said she made the unsettling discovery while she and fellow church members were preparing meals Wednesday night for neighbors. Walker said she took the snake head and empty can back to the grocery store where she bought the food. She took a picture first of the snake head to send to Western Family, a food distribution company based in Oregon, which has halted some shipments of the green beans.(Troy Walker via AP)

What’s Worse Than Finding A Snake’s Head In Your Can Of Green Beans?

Source: 

A woman was preparing dinner for a church event in Farmington, Utah, when she found a snake’s head in a can of Western Family Fancy Green Beans.

At first, Troy Walker thought one of the beans was burned. But then she realized that it was the head of a snake.

“As I got closer to lift it off the spoon, I saw eyes. That’s when I dropped it and screamed,” Troy said.

Later one, she returned all 30 green bean cans to the Harmons grocery store, where she had bought them from and got full refund.

It wasn’t a money issue, as Troy Walker explained. She was worried that one of the other church members would have found the body of the snake. She also sent a picture of the decapitated snake head to Western Family.

Thankfully, I’ve never once had to experience the feeling of nearly (unintentionally) eating a dead animal. I’m lucky enough to never have plucked a stale mouse out of my bucket of popcorn chicken at KFC, or kissed a toad that was rotting in my Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I am grateful.

When it comes to these types of horror stories though, the old ‘decapitated snake head in your can of fancy green beans’ has to rank as the worst of all. Because we all know the deal with snakes- Even when they’re dead, they’re still actually very much alive. And when I say, “very much alive” I mean, “they will take over your entire mind, body and soul” type of shit. Especially if it happened at some church-sponsored function. A tale right off of page 666 in the devil’s handbook.

So if Troy Walker hadn’t spotted this serpent’s head before serving it to one of her fellow church-goers, this thing could’ve potentially grown inside of some poor old lady named Muriel and oh my god this is the plot of Syfy’s next demon monster exorcist thriller. Fancy Fucking Snakes.

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NBA Trade Deadline Recap

We’ve reached 3:00 pm on the East coast. My smoke detector is still blaring, but here’s an exclusive in-depth look at each of the league-altering trades that went down (or didn’t) just before the NBA’s deadline.

Markieff Morris is heading to the Wizards. Washington sends Kris Kardashian Humphries, Dejuan Blair and a (1-9 protected) 1st rounder to PHX.

Peace, bitches

Lance Stephen (AND a 1st round pick) was traded to Memphis for Jeff Green. A locker room consisting of ZBo, Matt Barnes, PJ Hairston, Tony Allen, Birdman and Lance. Vincent Kennedy McMahon is already penciling in their opponents for Survivor Series.

The Cavs landed Channing Frye. Kevin Love is still marinating in LeBron’s farts.

Shockingly, the Houston Rockets couldn’t find anyone to take the giggling 7′ earth worm, Dwight Howard, off of their hands.

Never forget:

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Finally, Kirk Hinrich HAS COME BAAAACK… to Atlanta. Bulls get a 2nd rounder.

In a surprise to literally no one, the Knicks were unable to move Jose Calderon before the buzzer. Thankfully, he’s confident in the Knicks’ chances to make the playoffs, because he saw them do it (when he was tripping on LSD in the Spanish Riviera?)

And lastly…

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NBA2K Drops Blake Griffin’s ‘Hands’ Rating By 20 Points After Fight With Equipment Manager

I love NBA2K. I still haven’t bought 2K16 but the NBA2K series never fails. It’s the best sports video game on the market IMHO, especially since Madden became harder to play than solving a rubix cube under water in the dark.

In the latest update, 2K took a jab (pun!) at Blake Griffin for his recent fight with an assistant equipment manager, which resulted in a fractured hand and approximately 6 weeks on the sidelines. His ‘hands’ rating now sits at a cold 77, 20 points lower than the 97 he originally started with.

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Realistic AF! News leaks that you beat one of the equipment manager’s brains in on a Tuesday and by Thursday you can’t even catch a cold! Not that it will matter because I’m sure it’s still impossible to defend a CP3 x Blake Griffin oop but I still love this move by NBA2K.

They also had to jack up all of LeBron’s ratings in the latest update now that he isn’t being held back by that moron David Blatt. JR Smith too, his awareness has probably skyrocketed to a 25 by now.

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Sting Will Be Performing During The NBA All-Star Game Halftime Show

Sting, not Drake or any other artist that the NBA’s youthful audience might be familiar with, has been selected to headline the halftime show during the All Star game in Toronto next month. I very much respect this move by Adam Silver and the NBA. 

“And now, allow me to introduce your halftime performer…. FABOLOUS AND BOBBY SHMURDA! SIKE! HERE’S MOTHERFUCKING 64-YEAR OLD STING!!! ROXANNE, BITCHES!”

There will also be a Cirque Du Soleil performance prior to the game which is worth the price of admission alone. I’ve seen Cirque Du Soleil, relatively sober, and thought it was nothing short of magnificent so their basketball inspired set is going to blow the tits off of the Air Canada Centre.

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Jr Smith’s Skills Clinic Is Going To Be Lit

JR Smith has officially announced that he’ll be hosting the first annual ‘JR Smith Skills Clinic’ in Medina, Ohio this March. The three hour clinic (100% chance of an after-clinc party) will run you $150 but will also include a free t-shirt and a signed photo of Mr Swish himself.

The flyer advertises, “intense skill work ran by NBA Trainer Robbie Haught,” and “surprise guest appearances,” but here’s what your 10-18 year old child can really expect to learn from the JR Smith experience:

  1. How to masterfully slide into the DMs
  2. The art of gamesmanship (Ex: Untying opponents shoes and elbowing guys in the face during crucial playoff moments)
  3. Butts. An extensive testimonial all about big, ridiculous asses
  4. How to be the best bad-shot shooter. You won’t learn that “elbow in” nonsense or how to properly square up your shoulders toward the hoop, but you will learn how to drill a fadeaway from the corner with a hand in your face when there’s 16 seconds left on the shot clock
  5. Tips on getting drunk as a skunk the night before a big game. If you want tips on how to perform after such a night, you’ll need to sign up for the premium package of the JR Smith Skillz Clinc
  6. A better way to spend $150 for three hours of entertainment
  7. Surprise guests: Chicks with bottles (and large butts)

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Gilbert Arenas Is Back, Trashing Chicks From Flint With No Water!

Backstory: There is a MASSIVE water issue in Flint, Michigan.

Naturally, Gilbert Arenas found a way to insert himself into this tragedy by taking jabs at the women of Flint on IG who have been “washing that ass with #dirtyleadwater for months.” He’s also using his instagram account [which has since been deleted] to advise all of Flint’s thots to keep that #sourpuss out of his DMs.

I have absolutely zero knowledge of the current situation in Flint, but if their ordeal is half as bad as it seems these hoes are within their Constitutional right to murder Agent Zero for his ridicule. Not having water and not being able to shower is the fucking worst and that’s coming from a guy who has maybe not had access to hot water for a grand total of 10 hours in his entire life.

Stick and stones and blah blah blah, all of that goes out the window when you can’t shower and some bozo is calling you a sourpuss thot on social media. Thems the rules.

Side note: Gilbert Arenas strikes me as one of those guys that absolutely fucking stinks. We all know one. Whether he showers in Fiji water or the springs of Lake Minnetonka, there’s no doubt in my mind that this guy just reeks like a fish tank stuffed with gym socks at all times.

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