Michael Jordan ‘Donny Baby Kid’ Donohue added another notch on his belt both figuratively and literally on June 8th. 10 Big Macs. 90 Minutes. Zero scraps.
DBK’s momentous Monday afternoon (which you can rewatch in its entirety right here) kicked off on Twitch at approximately 12:15pm ET. Within 15 minutes he had already erased more than half of the Big Mac pile, and it quickly became clear that he had no intentions of leaving a single seed behind. Viewers calling for him to puke or soil his Depends were awed by the effortlessness of it all. DBK was mowing through Big Macs like they were chilled Bud Lights on a hot August night at Davis Park. Vegas Bookmakers, who had set the over/under of Big Macs eaten at 7.5, were floored by his transcendent performance in the early goings.
However, right around that eighth burger is when it looked the machine was shutting down. The groans. The aches. The pain.
In a surprise to literally no one, DBK’s momentum dropped dramatically down the home stretch. His burger consumption slowed to a snail’s pace, and there was once again hope for all who had tuned in to see a man puke all over his keyboard, or shit is britches, LIVE on twitch.
All those grams of fat (28g per Big Mac), the carbohydrates (45g per BM) and the sugar (9g per BM). And the sodium. Good God, think of the sodium! Ronald McDonald himself would have fallen victim to all of that (delicious) poison coursing through his veins. But this was Donny Baby Kid’s day. He completed the challenge with 14 minutes to spare.
The Hamburglar could never. Grimace? You fucking wish.
All told, the big guy racked up 5,500 calories (550 per BM) during that single sitting. Which begs the question, how much is 5,500 calories anyway? What does it all mean? For starters, 5,500 calories is more than double the recommended daily amount, according to LiveScience.com.
To put things in perspective, it is the equivalent of eating roughly 20 slices of pizza. Or 22 avocados. Or 17 slices of cheesecake. Or 48 cups of Lucky Charms. Or 70 hard boiled eggs.
If you’re still struggling to understand what 5,500 calories in 90 minutes feels like, look no further than this screenshot of the aftermath:
Moments after his historic display of athleticism, I asked DBK where he goes from here. “Idk where I am but I know where I’m going, that’s forward.” Inspiring words for certain.
Later that night: “I’ve been horizontal mostly. Drank a liter of water… Here’s the thing, stomach is full so I can’t drink water fast enough to quench my thirst. So I have to continuously sip in discomfort.” Needless to say, dinner was completely off the table on Monday night.
Despite the punishment endured, DBK was back in the saddle on Tuesday morning with an industrial-sized bowl of Frosted Flakes mixed with Rice Krispies. The show must go on.