The Most Dangerous Snack In The Game

Buyer Beware: Hostess’ Cinnamon Streusel Coffee Cakes will change your life.

I’m a longtime Drake’s Coffee Cake supporter but the Hostess’ Cinnamon Streusel variety was new to me. It’s basically your standard coffee cake, somewhat smaller, just drenched in a miracle cinnamon sugar just like those Auntie Anne’s pretzels. They are a certified weapon.

These individually wrapped cakes knock my socks off 8 times out of 8. Every single one is a slam dunk. A touchdown. A home run. Back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back. And when I say “back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back” I truly mean it because the only way you’re eating Hostess’ Cinnamon Streusel Coffee Cakes™ is if you’re running train on an entire box. It’s insanity. I’m going coo coo for these cinnamon streusel-coated morsels of joy. I can not help but verbally express how exceptional they are every time I take the first bite. “Oh my god,” “Oh my fucking god,” “fuck,” “these are unreal,” “just kill me right now.”

The only thing that would make them better is if each one was the size of my apartment. I sound crazy but that’s exactly my point, these coffee cakes are not of this world. You may become dependent on them after just one hit. Please enjoy responsibly.

Quick note on streusel: Some modern recipes add spices and chopped nutmeats to the flour, butter & sugar. I do not know if Hostess’ recipe contains either.

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