Cincinnati.com: A 39-year-old Linwood man pleaded no contest Wednesday to streaking naked and drunk through his yard and then hiding in his neighbor’s dryer. Shaun Welsh was arrested just before 1 a.m. on a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct while intoxicated at 3749 Hutton St., Hamilton County court records show. According to Cincinnati police, Welsh was “very intoxicated” at the time of his arrest.
Well at least they confirmed he was “very intoxicated.” I was on the fence about that. Now, since that’s out of the way… 39? Really, bro? I’m assuming you’re not homeless because you have neighbors. Therefore, there is no excuse to be sloshed and naked in someones dryer. What a rookie move going in the dryer too. Got to go washing machine, if anything. Put that shit on heavy duty perm press and swan dive. Everybody knows the best thing to do when you’re so fucking drunk that you’re running around in the nude is to hit the showers. Blackout101. Personally, I end up in the shower 9/10 when I’m shitbag wastoid drunk. The other 1/10 is when I pass out en route to the bathroom. It’s just natural. Got to get your brain back ASAP, and the only way is with the life-giving element of h20. The absolute last place to be is somewhere scolding hot. Can you imagine sticking your head in a dryer after 10 beers, 6 tequila shots, and an LIT? I just vomited.
PS- Sweet ginger beard-helmet Shaun. Get a grip, you’re almost 40.