Adidas Basketball’s Easter Collection will hit retailers tomorrow, March 25th, and exactly zero people will be lining up to grab a pair of the shoes that are to be worn by the likes of Damian Lillard, James Harden, Derrick Rose and Andrew Wiggins.
What I do like about this collection: It’s festive AF. Pastel colors out the wazoo got a motherfucker itching to color some eggs and go on a city-wide hunt in Central Park.
What I don’t like about this collection: The entire collection.
Harden Crazylight Boost 2.5
This haze salmon doused church loafer will be worn by James Harden on the 27th and it is the worst of the bunch. A very, very bad egg if you will.
When I look at this shoe I’m reminded of a roll of pennies and that ain’t worth shit, just like The Beard’s signature shoe.
Final Score: 2/10
Andrew Wiggins Crazylight Boost 2.5 PE
Sticking with the Crazylight Boost 2.5, we’ll now take a look at a SLIGHTLY better model designed for Andrew Wiggins. I’ll give Adidas Hoops credit for applying some Easter vibes on this one, but it still doesn’t change the fact that this shoe fucking stinks.
Final score: 2.8/10
D Lillard 2
Does this look identical to the other shoe we just reviewed? You bet your ass it does. White and grey base? Check. Cotton candy swirls on the upper? Check. Pink accents? Check. Nearly the same silhouette? Check fucking mate.
As far as I’m concerned Damian Lillard and Andrew Wiggins’ Easter kicks are exactly the same and both will be shipped to a 3rd world country just in time for the NBA Draft.
Final Score: 2.9/10
D Rose 6
Last but not least is Derrick Rose’s D Rose 6. Adidas had a golden opportunity to go with a cracked egg graphic on the upper but given Derrick’s brittle bone syndrome it’s probably best that they just stuck with the cotton candy tiger stripes.
As far as the rest of the shoe is concerned, there are some pointless straps around the heel and the whole thing resembles a cinder block that has been dipped in a vat of melted wild berry skittles.
On the bright side, for D-Rose and his camp, this is my pick for the best of the Adidas Hoops Easter Collection- and that’s worth something.
Final Score: 4/10.