The Sun is out in New York. The weather was nice enough yesterday that I was able to play some hoops (Horse for 60 minutes) at the local park for the first time this year in nothing but my favorite speedo and my Air Jordan 6s. That can only mean one thing- baseball season is officially right around the corner.
Naturally, the first course of action is to map out which Saturday afternoon Mets games I would like to attend, with the sole purpose of getting black-out drunk before the 6th (pitch). Everyone knows the best Mets games are the day game because you can soak up all of the rays, drink all the beer and enjoy a little bit of America’s past time… before retreating to McFadden’s to soak up all of the Jameson, drink all the beer and enjoy a little bit of America’s past time.
So, the question is- Which 1pm Saturday games will we be attending?
The answer- None! Because there aren’t any! And it’s ruining my entire life! It’s ruining my friends’ lives! It’s ruining my nieces and nephews lives! It’s ruining the lives of all the mechanics at the nearby chop shops who won’t get to ogle at the wasted chicks stumbling over their tire irons and mufflers before noon!
In total, the Mets will only be playing two afternoon home games this season and both start at 4pm. Those late afternoon games are still better than nothing, but they don’t come close to the thrill that is a 1pm game.
Even when the Mets are on the cusp of an awesome season they find a way to crush my spirit by offering zero Saturday 1pm games. I don’t know what I plan on doing about this just yet, but I won’t rule out crying/bitching about it while quietly voicing my displeasure on a website that no one will ever see.
Quick List Of Things That Are Better Than 1pm Saturday Baseball Games:
- All the money in the world