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Thieves Make Off With $50,000… In ‘Prized’ Bull Semen

AP, CBS: Central California thieves have made off with nearly $50,000 in prized bull semen.

3,500 units of high-grade semen were snatched from the back of a farmer’s pickup truck in Turlock, California.

Most cows are artificially inseminated and there’s a robust and valuable market for bull semen. The victim says genetically superior bulls produced the semen.

Police believe the thieves didn’t know what they were stealing because they also siphoned gas from the farmer’s pickup. The semen was stored in special tanks full of liquid nitrogen, which can leave the thieves with frostbite or cryogenic burns if handled improperly.

“You’re trying to make a living — the loss of all those units of semen, and probably taken by someone who had no idea what they were stealing, is very frustrating,” he said.

A couple of cum cowboys are at large and it is literally ruining people’s lives. Granted, we’re not just talking about your average barrell of semen here, this is premium, ‘prized’ bull semen laced with only the purest forms of HGH. Benny The Bull type semen.

Worst of all, it’s likely these jizz bandits don’t even know that they’re sitting on a goddamn cum mine. Wake up fellas, the market is wide open, it has turned into the wild, wild west and you don’t even realize! What a bunch of idiots!

Of course, this is a v dangerous lifestyle and these crooks could still get frostbite or cryogenic burns from the liquid nitrogen but that’s just the price you pay when you’re holding 3,500 units of prized splooge.

If only Jackass were still around these guys would have no problem unloading this astronomical amount of semen.

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