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Jr Smith’s Skills Clinic Is Going To Be Lit

JR Smith has officially announced that he’ll be hosting the first annual ‘JR Smith Skills Clinic’ in Medina, Ohio this March. The three hour clinic (100% chance of an after-clinc party) will run you $150 but will also include a free t-shirt and a signed photo of Mr Swish himself.

The flyer advertises, “intense skill work ran by NBA Trainer Robbie Haught,” and “surprise guest appearances,” but here’s what your 10-18 year old child can really expect to learn from the JR Smith experience:

  1. How to masterfully slide into the DMs
  2. The art of gamesmanship (Ex: Untying opponents shoes and elbowing guys in the face during crucial playoff moments)
  3. Butts. An extensive testimonial all about big, ridiculous asses
  4. How to be the best bad-shot shooter. You won’t learn that “elbow in” nonsense or how to properly square up your shoulders toward the hoop, but you will learn how to drill a fadeaway from the corner with a hand in your face when there’s 16 seconds left on the shot clock
  5. Tips on getting drunk as a skunk the night before a big game. If you want tips on how to perform after such a night, you’ll need to sign up for the premium package of the JR Smith Skillz Clinc
  6. A better way to spend $150 for three hours of entertainment
  7. Surprise guests: Chicks with bottles (and large butts)

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