What Kind of Asshole Vandalizes the Lincoln Memorial?

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Gawker: U.S. Park Police today closed the Lincoln Memorial until further notice after vandals splattered green paint all over the statue and the floor. Surveillance cameras are situated on both sides of the monument, but it remains unclear if footage of the perp or perps was captured.

“I have no idea who would want to do something like that,” a passer-by told NBC Washington. “To me, it’s defacing America. It’s not just defacing the Lincoln Memorial, but it’s something against all of America.” Cleaning crews were called in this morning, but it’s unknown how long it will be before the Memorial is once again open to the public.

The Lincoln Memorial is hands down the coolest thing at the National Mall. An enormous statue of a bro just sitting down. Love it. Just makes you want to go to Washington D.C and take pictures with it all day and night. Maybe even wake up next to it and do it all over again, I don’t know, I’m just saying it could get crazy. Splashing green paint on said statue is the wildest idea anybody could ever have. You want to tag the Washington Monument with giant dicks like you’re back in 6th grade? Go for it. Vomit on the U.S Capitol? More power to you. But do not get cocky in Lincoln’s house. We need to find the sicko’s responsible. And when I say “we”, I mean somebody other than myself.

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