West Nile Virus Is Still A Thing?


HuffPo: The West Nile virus has been detected in New York City mosquitoes for the first time this summer, according to the city’s Health Department. The infected mosquitoes were found in the Pomonok neighborhood in Queens and the Huguenot Beach neighborhood on Staten Island.  In 2012, 41 people in the city tested positive for the disease. Throughout the country, deaths from West Nile virus hit a record high last year, when it killed 286 people.

Who knew? I thought that shit was over in like ’05. Thought it was all just a craze like that Swine Flu nonsense. Give me a break. You’ve got to be a real schlep if you contract West Nile. Probably the wussiest virus of all viruses. I’ll rue the day a mosquito buries my dead ass. It’s just not feasible. In fact, I’m totally confident that I am immune to West Nile virus, so I really have nothing to worry about. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life. Life certainties: Death, Taxes, and my immunity to West Nile.

The only thing worse than dying from a mosquito bite is probably listening to the KidZ Bop version of Macklemore’s “Thrift shop” on repeat, for the rest of your life. 1 and 1A on the “Worst Things Ever” list. Get ready to kill yourself…

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