Nurse Invents Male Laser Lift For Bro’s With Wrinkly Balls

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Gawker: It all started back in January, when George Clooney told the Italian magazine Max that he has never had his eyes done, but did get have the wrinkles removed from his balls.

He was obviously poking fun at Hollywood’s obsession with eternal youth, but one of Hollywood’s go-to rejuvenators took the actor’s comments at face value, and began offering the treatment at her Santa Monica spa.

“It involves using lasers to remove hair, erase wrinkles and correct discoloration on the scrotum,” the RN said of the $575 treatment officially known as Male Laser Lift.

This is so Hollywood it hurts. You gotta be a fucking wacko to put $575 into monthly scrote upkeep. If a chick is close enough to your balls that she notices a slight discoloration of the scrotum and a couple wrinkles, you’re probably still good to go. And that’s really all that matters. If she gets down there, she won’t turn you away because your bag has a little bit of character. Bottom line. So save the laser beams and ironing boards.

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