Vine is one of my favorite things going [and not just because I have over 1.2 million loops 😉 ]. If you’re a bro, guy and/or dude who loves sportsing on a nightly basis, there is nothing better than the Vine app’s 7-second limit. Anything over 140 characters or 7 seconds of viewing time feels like the Constitution or the Titanic, respectively- so it’s a godsend that such an app exists for the highlight-hungry people of the world.
And no sport is more compatible with Vine than the NBA, with the likes of Stephen Curry, Kyrie Irving, Zach LaVine, Russell Westbrook etc producing 7-second slices of heaven day by day, by day… by day.
This glorious app hasn’t been around forever though and there are at least 10 guys I wish played during the triumphant Vine Era. Which 10 guys, you ask?
Note: Didn’t put Vince Carter on this list because he’s still doing it but…. you already know he’s a First Ballot Vine HOF’er
The crossovers. Give me all of the crossovers on a loop for the rest of my life and again in the afterlife and again in the after-afterlife.
The beauty of having Steve Nash around during the Vine Era is his double threat potential. The first portion of the vine is his dizzying handles and the next 3-seconds is the jaw dropping no-look alley-oop to whoever wants it. That’s what you call getting the most bang for your buck. 7-seconds, jam packed with action.
The Reign Man. The original mayor of Lob City.
If we’re talking about NBA players who would be perfect for Vine, and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the point of this blog, you can’t be taken seriously unless you include Dominique Wilkins. And I want to be taken seriously. His fuckin nickname is The Human Highlight Reel. Vine was made for guys like Dominique.
Vine is the only social media platform that Magic Johnson simply can’t fail at. For as awful as his tweets are, his Vines would’ve been at the completely other end of the spectrum. He wouldn’t be posterizing anyone like Russell Westbrook but his ridiculous assists, on an infinite loop, would even give Tommy Heinsohn a raging boner.
Pistol Pete Maravich
I’d be remiss if I did all this talking about ball handling and basketball sorcery without mentioning Pistol Pete. First Ballot Vine HOF’er and there’s no debate. People say ‘no debate’ a lot, but this needs to be taken in the literal sense and if you can’t agree with that kindly log off your computer and delete all of your accounts.
I’m not 100 years old or anything so I obviously never got to see DR J play but I’ve seen the dunks and that blasphemous revers layup enough times to know that this guy would thrive in the Vine Era.
Bryan ‘Big Country’ Reeves
JUST FUCKING KIDDING!!!
There might not be another guy who would’ve benefitted more from the Vine Era than Jason Williams. White motherfucking Chocolate. His career numbers aren’t anywhere near the other guys on this illustrious list but that’s the beauty of vine. He could easily provide 7-seconds of viral content on a nightly basis and that’s all that counts and that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. If I had the balls to rank this list in order, J-Will would be Top-3 no bout a doubt it.
T-Mac was a FREAK. Unlike most of the guys on this list he could go viral with a quick vine for a variety of different reasons- like Westbrook. He could break someone’s ankles, throw a sick no-look pass, or dunk on a guy’s entire family. The rare Vine triple threat extraordinaire.