Nobody loves a good acronym more than me. The newest addition to the APAAWC [Abbreviation Pronounced As A Word Club] is TLOP, which comes to us courtesy of Kanye West.
Earlier this week, KW tweeted that ‘TLOP’ would be the name of his new album and that anybody who could figure out the meaning behind the acronym would win some free Yeezys.
Shockingly, Terminal Lack Of Pussy was not the right answer.
Instead, Kanye decided to name his self-proclaimed ‘album of the life,’ The Life Of Pablo. I never got to know anyone named Pablo, but in middle school I did know of a kid named Paco who wore a tuxedo t-shirt to basketball tryouts and also puked all over the court during some routine drills. He was immediately cut.
Kanye went from ‘So Help Me God’ to ‘SWISH’ to ‘WAVES’ to ‘TLOP’ and I couldn’t care less but I do want to reflect on some of my favorite of Pablos, because I may never have the opportunity to do so again without coming across as a total lunatic. Strike while the iron is hot, amirite?
We all know the story. Cocaine & Money. And murder and political corruption but who’s counting? If we’re going to sculpt dudes named Pablo into a fictional mountain of prestige, El Patron is getting a spot.
I’m not a huge fan of Pablo Picasso’s art, but the fact that he made it- I respect that. Dude made a fortune out of mashing up a bunch of body parts in a painting and convincing everyone it was actually the coolest shit they’ve ever seen. I have next level respect for a guy like that, the likes of which can only be appropriately honored on a gigantic mountain range.
Old rectangle head! The Michael Jordan of stealing meaningless inbounds passes. This wily, 38-year old, Argentinian menace is still clocking minutes in the NBA, averaging a jaw-dropping 2 & 2 per night. More importantly, given the shape of his face, he’ll be a perfect fit for the Abe Lincoln spot on Mount Pablo.
Behold, the king of kings. Pablo Sanchez. The Great Bambino of Backyard Baseball. Per his official player card, “Pablo does not speak any English, it seems. But he knows the language of baseball and knows it well. Simply put, this kid is good. So fucking good.”