Monthly Archives: June 2013

Draft Day


The Knicks have voids to fill. Depending on which players leave in free agency, they could use a point guard, wingman, or traditional power foward/ back up center. In other words, they could literally take anyone with the 24th pick and fill a need. This draft is so wide open it really just comes down to who will fall in their lap.

They won’t be addressing a specific position, although I would like to see them take a wing player that can take some of the offensive burden off Melo’s shoulders. Assuming JR bolts during free agency (and he will) and the possibility of losing Copeland makes finding a shooter a priority. Wingmen like Michigan’s Tim Hardaway Jr. & Georgia Tech’s Glen Rice Jr., are possible fits for the Knicks should they go that route. However, if a guy like Shane Larkin drops to 24, I’d love to see him in a Knicks uniform. He’s undersized for a scorer but would be a valuable backup guard, considering Prigioni is likely to walk. The Knicks definitely need scorers so I would be satisfied with that type of pick.

Drafting big has not been kind to the Knicks since Patrick Ewing. David Lee was solid, but thats neither here nor there. This draft doesn’t have much to offer up front. Big man from Kansas, Jeff Withey, has been tossed around but I’d rather they not do that. And when I say, ” I’d rather they not do that” I mean “I’d drink myself into a coma tonight if they do that.” Forward from North Texas, Tony Mitchell is also a name that the Knicks fans should be familiar with. I don’t remember seeing him play in college but the Knicks are reportedly very interested in the athletic 6’9 forward.

Drafting foreign is also something I wished they’d avoid. I absolutely loathe drafting foreigners. Maybe it’s the whole Frederic Weis experiment. Yes, it’s definitely because of the Weis experiment. Wasn’t a fan of Danilo, or the guy they drafted in 2012 Kostas Papanikolaou, either. Yeah, that was a real life draft pick. Fuck. I just feel the foreigners are generally too soft, and have no business playing in New York. Maybe if Danilo had a couple neck tats it would’ve been different…

One thing is for certain, the Knicks should definitely be able to find a valuable role player tonight. I say that with zero confidence. Almost couldn’t even find it in me to type those words. They will probably draft some schlub from Poland who will never even come to America.

Kid Takes Horrific Fall Off Skateboard

Boardslide, yeah! Aghhh save me from this damn ass fucking gay damn ass rock! Fuck out of my face Austin, I don’t want to piss on the rock and do gay things to it, I just want to live! Love the self diagnosis: left ass cheek is definitely feeling silly, no broken bones, and no clue what even happened. F’n good bail though, f’n good. This cameraman’s attempt at cursing and sounding cool is textbook. Damn ass fucking gay damn ass textbook. Say the “not so bad” words like damn and ass as much as humanly possible. Tag on a couple gays for good measure. Slip in a single “fuck” and one fuck only, and then it’s back to “f’n.” Because if you say fuck more than once you might go to hell.

Mets Didn’t Tell Zack Wheeler He’s Been Tipping His Pitches


Newsday: Collins said the Mets saw signs of possible pitch tipping in Atlanta during Wheeler’s major-league debut. But in that case, Collins said Wheeler made good enough pitches with his fastball to get away with it. Collins noticed that the White Sox kept at-bats alive by fouling pitches off, another telltale sign that Wheeler might have sabotaged his chances.

However, Wheeler said he wasn’t aware during the game that he was tipping his pitches. Collins said that the Mets hesitated to ask Wheeler to make major changes in the middle of a game for fear of making the problem worse.


Heard this on Boomer & Carton this morning, and those are some of the direct quotes from the Newsday article. So the word is out that in his first two starts, Wheeler has been tipping his pitches. As Ron Darling pointed out in his outing against the White Sox, he slows down his wind up when throwing his off speed stuff. It’s a subtle tell, but something that the opposing teams have certainly picked up on. And the Mets picked up on it in his first start in Atlanta. Except they chose not to tell him about it!

For reasons nobody can ever know about, the Mets knew their young pitcher was tipping his pitches and chose not to correct it. Not during the first game, not during his 5-days rest, and not during the second game when he really struggled. Not until Ron Darling opened his mouth did the Mets claim to have noticed this issue. Hey guys, maybe that’s something the coaches should address. You know, considering you’re coaches and all, you might want to coach. The excuse that Dan Warthen and Terry Collins didn’t want to make the problem worse is ludicrous. What can be worse than telling the batter what you’re going to throw? Nothing, so you might as well do your job and tell him to cut that shit out. He’s only our future 1A behind Harvey. Just a thought…

Nick Fucking Nolte

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Don’t have the slightest clue what a 72 year old Nick Nolte does. Could be preparing for a new role. But judging from this, I’d bet the house he spends a TON of time getting blown out. Completely blown out of his skull. Drinking a ridiculously unhealthy amount of liquor and generally getting obliterated by the sun. For Christ’s sake put on some sun block! I get that your Nick Nolte, but that doesn’t mean you’re above sun poisoning. He has the look of someone who just regained consciouness in the woods somewhere and thought, “Oh fuck I have to be at that thing in 10 minutes.” Quick, let me grab my black bag. The guy doesn’t even have time to run a fucking comb through his hair. All things noted, when you’re puling off a Versace tee, white pants and slippers nobody can tell you shit. Hobo chic.

Kate Upton And Cameron Diaz Filming A Comedy Together

NYDN: It’s the blonde leading the blonde as beauties Cameron Diaz and Kate Upton light up the SoHo set of upcoming comedy “The Other Woman.” In sultry red dress and cream-colored stilettos, Diaz, 40, can still turn heads.


Firstly, this movie will suck. Cameron Diaz hasn’t been in a decent movie since The Mask. And Kate Upton isn’t an actress. Secondly- whats that old saying, a pictures worth a thousand words? Yes, thats definitely the saying. And these pictures say to me that Kate Upton has been big leaguing the shit out of Cameron since they started filming.

I mean, could she give less of a fuck about what Cameron has to say? Like, bitch stop chirping in my ear, you’re old hat. I don’t care about all the acting knowledge, its just about me and my tremendous cans, go grab me a latte. And in that 3rd pic, “Hey Kate look, Im going to subtly give the paparazzi the middle finger! SO funny right?” “No sweetie, thats how I make a living. Don’t ruin it for me, k?” Sass on sass on sass. Not a huge fan of the whole “some hobo puked up malt liquor and skittles all over my cut-sleeve shirt” look. Stick to your guns, Kate. Tits out is your bread and butter.

Also, Chinatown is permanently always packed wall to wall and foggy as a motherfucker right? No elbow room, and smog. Thats what Chinatown does.

14 Year Old Dies Playing Hide & Seek


DailyMail: A 14-year-old Texas boy has died in a freak accident after accidentally impaling himself through the chest on the horn of a bull sculpture. Police say Miguel Martinez was playing hide-and-seek about 3am on Saturday in front of the National Ranching Heritage Center on the campus of Texas Tech University in Lubbock. In the excitement of the game, he ran into the pointed horn of a bull sculpture outside the museum. The metal horn pierced him through the chest.


I get this kid on so many levels. Hide and seek is hugely intense. Although when you’re playing hide and seek at 3am, its “manhunt” not hide and seek. Semantics, I know. There is nothing like running for your life. And make no mistake about it, when you’re on the verge of getting tagged, its life or death. I’d probably jump off a fucking cliff to avoid getting tagged back in my hide and seek hay-day. So I can certainly relate to this bro who was willing to take a bull horn to the chest rather than let his team down. The excitement of the game is too real to even think straight at times. It’s really a miracle that there hasn’t been more hide and seek casualties.

Editors note: Playing hide and seek with my nephew the other day, and he wanted a good spot to hide. I told him to get in the fire place, behind the little gate. Of course, the fire wasn’t going but that was probably horrible advice to give a 3 1/2 year old. The fucking fire place? Like I said, the intensity of the moment can cloud your judgement, even when you’re an adult genius.