Category Archives: Sports

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Kawhi Leonard Locks Up Another Defensive Player Of The Year Award

The most unsung superstar in the NBA, Kawhi Leonard, was named the 2015-16 Defensive Player Of The Year today in a landslide. The Claw received 84 first place votes out of a possible 130 whereas the runner-up, Draymond Green, tallied 44 first place nominations.

On the eve of his second straight DPOY Award, Leonard’s defensive prowess was on full display as the Spurs ROUTED a depleted Grizzlies squad in Game 1 of their first round series.

See Exhibit A:

Repeating as Defensive Player Of The Year in the same season that he made his first All-Star team? It’s no wonder [Kah]why he’ll be receiving some MVP consideration from the powers that be. Even though we all know there’s a certain someone in the Bay Area who plans on going back-to-back as well.

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What’s The Next Big Sports Record To Fall?

While Adam Morrison, Don Cheadle and the rest of Hollywood’s A-listers were cumming themselves all over the Staples Center last night (and rightfully so), Steph Curry and co. were busy recording their 73rd win of the season across the bay.

Note: Whenever you’re talking about Oakland or wherever it is that Golden State plays it’s perfectly acceptable to refer to it as ‘across the bay’ even if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

The 95-96 Bulls’ iconic 72-10 record, the record that spawned a $220 Air Jordan 11 earlier this year, is now second fiddle thanks to Curry’s 402 made 3s. Nobody ever thought a team would be able to eclipse the 72-win season, unless it was in a video game, but it happened and now I’m hungry for more records.

The Q: Which of the major records in all of sports will be the next to fall?

DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak?

Wilt’s 100 point game?

The ’72 Dolphins running the table AND winning the SB?

Bonds’ 73 homeruns?

That really cool hockey stat?

The list is long and I don’t have all of the answers but I do know that the most attainable one is an NFL team winning every game and going on to win the Super Bowl. If it weren’t for Eli Manning and those meddling kids, that record would’ve been broken in 2012.

Of course, this is all assuming we’re not including the 3-point record (the one that Steph breaks every year) in this discussion, because we all know he’s going to break 402 once there are teams that can compete and he’s actually forced to play in the 4th quarter.

You can kiss the homerun records goodbye thanks to the steroid police, unless of course someone breaks the record in which case I will retract this statement. Baseball also has a shit load of absurd pitching records that will never be broken because the league has gone soft and throwing a ball until your arm falls of is frowned upon nowadays. What gives.

Wilt’s 100 point record is an interesting one but I just don’t ever see a player dumping in triple digits in a single night ever again. Again, unless it actually happens.

On the other side of the coin, there are the records that nobody wants. The 9-win Sixers team almost had their all-time worst record broke this season… but Philly managed to scrap up 10 wins. Tanking is all the rage and it’s only a matter of time until someone puts up 5 wins for the year. Or an NFL team losing every single game a la the Tampa Bay Bucs (when they wore the creamsicle uniforms, as told by Chris Berman). But nobody really gives a fuck about those records.

The record I would most like to see broken, or at least HOTLY chased, has to be Bonds’ HR record. When the Mark McGwire’s, Sammy Sosa’s, and Barry Bonds of the world were pimping moon shots on a nightly basis every at-bat was must watch. Kids glued to their tvs, women masturbating for each long ball, grown men acting like neanderthals for a piece of baseball history. That’s the baseball I know and love. That’s the joy that steroids brings. Make baseball juicy again.

In conclusion, this started as a fun, super zany hypothetical about immortal sports records and ended with a testimonial about why we need HGH in sports more than ever.

Mamba out.

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10 NBA Players I Wish Played During The “Vine Era”

Vine is one of my favorite things going [and not just because I have over 1.2 million loops 😉 ]. If you’re a bro, guy and/or dude who loves sportsing on a nightly basis, there is nothing better than the Vine app’s 7-second limit. Anything over 140 characters or 7 seconds of viewing time feels like the Constitution or the Titanic, respectively- so it’s a godsend that such an app exists for the highlight-hungry people of the world.

And no sport is more compatible with Vine than the NBA, with the likes of Stephen Curry, Kyrie Irving, Zach LaVine, Russell Westbrook etc producing 7-second slices of heaven day by day, by day… by day.

This glorious app hasn’t been around forever though and there are at least 10 guys I wish played during the triumphant Vine Era. Which 10 guys, you ask?

Note: Didn’t put Vince Carter on this list because he’s still doing it but…. you already know he’s a First Ballot Vine HOF’er

Allen Iverson

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The crossovers. Give me all of the crossovers on a loop for the rest of my life and again in the afterlife and again in the after-afterlife.

Steve Nash

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The beauty of having Steve Nash around during the Vine Era is his double threat potential. The first portion of the vine is his dizzying handles and the next 3-seconds is the jaw dropping no-look alley-oop to whoever wants it. That’s what you call getting the most bang for your buck. 7-seconds, jam packed with action.

Shawn Kemp

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The Reign Man. The original mayor of Lob City.

Dominique Wilkins

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If we’re talking about NBA players who would be perfect for Vine, and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the point of this blog, you can’t be taken seriously unless you include Dominique Wilkins. And I want to be taken seriously. His fuckin nickname is The Human Highlight Reel. Vine was made for guys like Dominique.

Magic Johnson

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Vine is the only social media platform that Magic Johnson simply can’t fail at. For as awful as his tweets are, his Vines would’ve been at the completely other end of the spectrum. He wouldn’t be posterizing anyone like Russell Westbrook but his ridiculous assists, on an infinite loop, would even give Tommy Heinsohn a raging boner.

Pistol Pete Maravich 

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I’d be remiss if I did all this talking about ball handling and basketball sorcery without mentioning Pistol Pete. First Ballot Vine HOF’er and there’s no debate. People say ‘no debate’ a lot, but this needs to be taken in the literal sense and if you can’t agree with that kindly log off your computer and delete all of your accounts.

DR J

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I’m not 100 years old or anything so I obviously never got to see DR J play but I’ve seen the dunks and that blasphemous revers layup enough times to know that this guy would thrive in the Vine Era.

Bryan ‘Big Country’ Reeves

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JUST FUCKING KIDDING!!!

Jason Williams

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There might not be another guy who would’ve benefitted more from the Vine Era than Jason Williams. White motherfucking Chocolate. His career numbers aren’t anywhere near the other guys on this illustrious list but that’s the beauty of vine. He could easily provide 7-seconds of viral content on a nightly basis and that’s all that counts and that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. If I had the balls to rank this list in order, J-Will would be Top-3 no bout a doubt it.

Tracy McGrady

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T-Mac was a FREAK. Unlike most of the guys on this list he could go viral with a quick vine for a variety of different reasons- like Westbrook. He could break someone’s ankles, throw a sick no-look pass, or dunk on a guy’s entire family. The rare Vine triple threat extraordinaire.

Michael Jordan

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Duh.

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The Under Armour Curry 3 Is A Complete Dud

Under Armour just threw up a massive fucking brick if these leaked images of the Curry 3 are for real. The Curry 1 and Curry 2 weren’t anything special but they weren’t a total disaster either, which was essentially a win for Under Armour as they continue to branch out into the basketball sneaker world.

But the latest ingredient to Chef Curry’s sneaker line is easily the worst one yet. It most closely resembles a generic sneaker from NBA Live 95. We’re talking about Standard Definition shit. Bland AF. Tim Duncan wouldn’t even wear these shoes if they were the only thing to protect him from a bed of hot coals standing between himself and a 3-day Macy’s sale on baggy Izod apparel. 

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What’s that old saying? One step forward, two steps back… and now you just traveled to lose the championship game for your team, family and community? I know it’s so cliche and overused but it has never been more relevant than it is right now in this moment.

The Curry 3, as it appears today, is a signature shoe more appropriate for a Kent Bazemore or a Cleanthony Early rather than the reigning (2x) MVP and greatest shooter in the Milky Way Galaxy. 

The worst part is- this comes as a surprise to literally no one.

I love how Kevin Plank built the Under Armour brand from scratch and how they’ve continued to grow in each year since the launch. It’s really tremendous and cannot be overstated.

But bball kicks just aren’t UA’s thing at all. They have absolutely flopped with the upcoming Curry 3 and now idiot bloggers in studio apartments have no other choice but to request that everyone involved be fired immediately. 

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[Via]

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Allen Iverson Is Officially Headed To The HOF And He Also Murdered Reebok

Today in SPORTS:

Reebok’s greatest athlete of all time, Allen Iverson, is officially headed to the Basketball Hall Of Fame, in a surprise to literally no one.

As someone who has an extensively mediocre knowledge of basketball sneakers, I thought A.I would bring out his special ‘HOF’ edition of the Reebok Question- or something along those lines- to commemorate the momentous occasion.

You know, something that he could wear and promote as he makes the media rounds? I mean, he still dresses like it’s the 90s so why wouldn’t he want to celebrate his HOF selection with the most iconic sneakers from his playing days? Something where he can sit down for an interview and be like, “Hi Rece Davis, being the greatest pound-for-pound player in NBA history is really fucking dope and being a first ballot HOFer is phat as all hell, but let me just point your attention to these Reebok Questions which you can score for a limited time at Reebok.com and Eastbay.”

Or…. he could just give two giant, cement-printed middle fingers to the brand that gave him a lifetime deal and still churns out new models of his shoes by kicking up his feet in a pair of Js. AND HE DID!

RIP Reebok. You were basically dead already but now that the TGI Fridays eating, strip club dwelling, leather fitted wearing, practice ranting icon has ditched you… it’s curtains.

He said it himself in today’s interview: “I wasn’t a point guard. I was a killer.” And today, on the day he was officially announced as a Hall Of Famer on ESPN, he murdered the Reebok brand in cold blood.

At least they got the rub from Shaq at Wrestlemania last night…

[For optimal viewing pleasure, stare at the picture below while simultaneously clicking the video beneath said picture]

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Note: The ‘Cement’ Air Jordan 4 will now be referred to as the ‘Allen Iverson HOF 2016’ Jordan 4s for the rest of eternity and saying otherwise would be both ignorant and churlish.